Rocky road to peace

My story is not of an easy path, nor should I be looked at like a role model. I relate to saints like Paul, Matthew and Augustine. My road to ordination was rocky, rough and took many turns to bring me here. 
 
Like many of my childhood friends, I grew up in Kingsville and attended St. Martin Catholic School. I was a third-generation student. My Grandfather Antonio, my mother, Martha and I were alumni. It was easy to keep my faith with daily religious lessons and church attendance during the weekday. Middle school and high school got harder to hold my attention, but I still attended religious education (CCD) at St. Martin Parish until my graduation. 
 
Immediately after graduation in 1991, I enlisted in the Army and traveled the world. Unfortunately, I became distant from my faith. I only attended Mass during Christmas and Easter. For the next several years, I got lost in worldly pleasures and material things. The more I tried to find happiness, the more I felt lost. I felt that spiritually– something was missing.
 
I returned to Kingsville and met Christy, the love of my life; attended Texas A&M University-Kingsville, where I received a Bachelor of Science in Biology with a minor in Military Science. I received an Army Commission in 2004. I deployed in 2006-2007. 
 
It was not an easy tour, and I returned to a new view of the world that I could not decipher. I was still missing something. It wasn’t until my second deployment to Iraq when I found myself in a chapel one Sunday morning. Something that day made me get up and attend Mass. I heard the priest’s homily. It returned me to a childhood’s lost mental state. 
 
The homilies were more educational, why the colors of the season, parts of the Mass and why we are Catholics. It was like I was back at St. Martin when the world was simple. After that deployment, I came back with a zest for more spiritual and less material. I told my wife I wanted to attend Mass. 
 
We had gotten married at Our Lady of Good Counsel in 2001, so we started to attend full time. Without hesitation, she agreed. At the time, even though she was Baptist, she sat there and took in the service. She had some questions, and I tried to help as much as I could. It wasn’t until a few years later and without pressure, she told me she wanted to take some classes and become Catholic. My heart jumped for joy, and my darkness became a little bit brighter. My daughters received their Baptism and First Communion at Our Lady of Guadalupe in Corpus Christi and attended CCD there too. 
 
My military career was filled with self-improvement training. I was learning to be a better person, and I kept thinking to myself, I was taking these courses to improve me, and if I helped others along the way, that was a plus. I became a certified Master Resiliency Trainer and Suicide Prevention Instructor. I also saw my spiritual growth increase. I joined the Knights of Columbus #2623 to be around strong Catholic men and serve the community. 
 
I was asked to be a Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion, and hesitantly, I accepted. It was a humbling experience to hold the Blood of Christ, but I always volunteered for the cup only. After a few years, I distributed the Host, the Body of Christ, and it was life changing. To see the eyes of the faithful, as they said Amen, and receive the Body of Christ, was moving, and even today, I get chills. I was asked to discern the diaconate program, so I did, not thinking, first of all, I would be accepted, let alone complete the formation. I was surrounded by men much more spiritually prepared than I. 

I thought this was yet another class to improve myself, but after taking multiple courses, I was not only helping myself take in the Holy Spirit, but I saw changes in my family, friends and co-workers. It’s not about me anymore but service to and for others. 

As I said, I hope that others do not follow my long path to get to this place. It amazes me now, what I did, and had to do, to get me back to My Savior, Jesus Christ, but I could not and would not change a thing for I know what I had, I know what I lost, and I know what I have and will never lose again.
 
I want to thank my wife, Christy, for all her support. She gave up a lot to take this journey with me; my daughter’s Elizabeth (12) and Madison (8) –sorry for all the missed practices, games and family and school functions, but as much as we lost these five years, we will have an eternal life to make up for it. 

Thank you to my family and friends for their support. Thank you, mom, for assisting in my formation in the last five years and my childhood. I might have complained about those CCD mornings, but it was all worth it. 
 
My formation does not end at ordination, and I will continue to need my family and community to assist in this path. Still, we will travel together for a fulfilling spiritual life.
 
I am currently the Supervisory Mission Support Specialist working for the Customs and Border Patrol Station in Falfurrias. I retired from the Army in 2019 after 29 years of service but will continue to serve my family, friends and faith as long as I can. God Bless and let the Holy Spirit guide every one of you on your path.