My vocation: A gift from God

I was nine years old when I first experienced the desire to serve the Lord. While all of my friends were collecting pictures of Elvis Presley, I was fascinated in collecting holy cards and pictures of nuns.

After informing my parents that I wanted to be a nun, they said that I was too young, and that I had to finish school. After I finished high school I again talked to my parents about entering the convent. My father got angry and said, “I do not want any of my children begging.” In the Philippines in those days nuns used to beg. From then on I kept silent about wanting to be a nun.

My parents did not encourage me at all.

After college, I got a job and emigrated to the United States. I had a good job, my own apartment, a nice car and a good circle of friends. I was a volunteer in the church and sang in the folk choir at Mass. I was content and happy.

Once in a while, however, the convent desire arose in my mind, but I would quickly dismiss the idea. Once, during my nighttime prayers, I heard something like a whisper from within me saying, “You try everything you want for your life, but what you really long for you never try.” I was frightened because I knew it was God calling me to the convent. I was overwhelmed and answered, “I am going, I am going!”

Soon afterwards, I visited the Carmelite Sisters of the Divine Heart of Jesus in La Mesa, California and was attracted by their contemplative prayer life that is lived side-by-side with their active apostolate of caring for the children and the elderly. The congregation called to me to their simplicity and to their life of prayer; but I was scared.

Having to give up everything I worked for, especially my good job with its good salary and benefits terrified me. I was reluctant to give up my friends, my car, my apartment and other material things. I thought of my mother, fearing I would not be able to visit her regularly especially because she was getting older. Perhaps I was afraid of the unknown–but I promised the Lord I would give it a try.

After I came to grips with my fears I entered the Carmelite Order in August 1991. I plunged zealously into the life of a religious and from then on I felt the peace that only God can give. God showered me with many graces. I made my first vows on July 2, 1994 and my perpetual vows five years later, on July 2, 1999.

My vocation has taken me to California, Texas and Canada. Since January 2013 I have returned to Texas to serve.