Divorced Catholics in the Church

---

Deacon William Boostrom and his wife Sofia, who offer help to divorced Catholics.

Alfredo E. Cárdenas, South Texas Catholic

---

Catholics that are divorced can participate in the life of the church. They can still receive the sacraments unless they are not in a state of grace, but this is true for all Catholics.

"It is important to recognize that when someone is divorced-as long as they are not remarried without the benefit of the sacrament of marriage or in an irregular living situation with another person-can receive Holy Communion," Bishop Michael Mulvey said.
If a divorced Catholic has not remarried he or she is welcomed and encouraged to attend Mass and receive the sacraments.

"Let these men and women know that the Church loves them, that she is not far from them and suffers because of their situation. The divorced and remarried are and remain her members, because they have received Baptism and retain their Christian faith," St. John Paul II said in an address to the Pontifical Council for the Family in Jan. 24, 1997.

Msgr. Roger Smith, who is pastor at St. Patrick's Parish and has served on the tribunal that reviews annulments for the Diocese of Corpus Christi for 30 years, said a problem arises when people remarry outside of the church. They cannot take the sacraments.
While divorced individuals remarried outside of the Church cannot participate in the sacraments, they are encouraged to attend Mass and participate at some level to receive the graces of the Word even though they cannot receive communion.

Sofia Boostrom speaks to a support group for divorced or widowed Catholics. Alfredo E. Cárdenas, South Texas Catholic

The Church considers divorce to be wrong "because it introduces disorder into the family and into society," which "brings grave harm to the deserted spouse, to children traumatized by the separation of their parents and often torn between them, and because of its contagious effect which makes it truly a plague on society," the church also recognizes that "It can happen that one of the spouses is the innocent victim of a divorce decreed by civil law; this spouse therefore has not contravened the moral law" (CCC #2385-2386).

"There is a considerable difference between a spouse who has sincerely tried to be faithful to the sacrament of marriage and is unjustly abandoned, and one who through his own grave fault destroys a canonically valid marriage," the Catechism says.

"God loves them, the Church loves them and wants to help them in any way to bring them back to fullness of communion," Msgr. Smith said.

Deacon William Boostrom and his wife Sofia, who were both divorced and after receiving a declaration of nullity for their previous marriages were married in the Church, now offer help to others who were in their same situation. They lead a grief support group for divorced or widowed Catholics. The 10-week peer support group is offered twice a year at St. Patrick's to assist widowed and divorced persons work their way from grief to recovery and healthy living. It is open to anyone in the diocese.

"People often stay together in abusive relationships for the wrong reasons. They feel guilty about being divorced or thinking about divorce. They think it's their fault. They feel guilty so they step away from the Church. They feel they failed the Church, their families and God. They think, 'I must have done something wrong'," Deacon Boostrom said.

Msgr. Smith agrees that sometimes some spouses are not in control of their situation; one spouse may abandon the other while others are experiencing physical or emotional abuse.

"They suffer a great amount of guilt. As pastors we need to help them deal with the guilt, the hurt. They had a dream and lost it," Msgr. Smith said.

"There is a lot of misunderstanding, a lot of misinformation," Deacon Boostrom said. "People don't understand. They feel guilty; they are so devastated that they don't want to approach the priest. A lot of them go to Mass and sit quietly in the pews."

Msgr. Smith regularly includes information on the annulment process in his parish's Sunday bulletin. He said many divorced Catholics want full membership and participation but do not know what they need to do.

A common misunderstanding people have about annulment is that if the Church annuls a marriage their children are illegitimate. They should not worry about this because when the children were born they were the product of a legal marriage according to the civil law and what everyone assumed was a good faith marriage in the Church. An annulment does not affect a child's legitimacy. It is not, as some people think, a "Catholic divorce." Therefore the legitimacy of the children is not affected.

"Children are a gift from God and the civil divorce or annulment cannot negate that fact," Bishop Mulvey said.

"Sometimes you need to go that extra mile to help people. As Church we need to do all we can to reach out to people where they're at," Msgr. Smith said.

Deacon Boostrom said it is hard to reach out to people who are not there. If they are not coming to church it is more difficult for a priest to be aware of their situation and be able to reach out to help them.

Bishop Mulvey encourages Catholics that have experienced or are contemplating divorce to contact their parish priest for help. They can offer counseling and advise on the individual's status in the Church and how they may remedy the situation so that they may enjoy the full communion with the Church.

"The church must be the reconciling agent of God's mercy in all situations with every person. We as priests and pastoral ministers in the parishes and in the diocese must reach out to people who are in difficult situations regarding marriage," Bishop Mulvey said.