Children available for adoption–especially older children–and expectant mothers often come from abusive situations. One 21-year-old Corpus Christi woman, who chose to remain anonymous, found herself in such a situation and abortion was not an option for her so she chose adoption for her child.
"I wanted to give this child a chance at life," she said, adding that she considers her decision to place her baby with an adoptive family as an act of love.
Now 29, she placed her baby boy for adoption eight years ago. She did what she had to do after living in an abusive situation and trying to escape, she said.
"The child's father was 10 years older and he beat me while I was pregnant," she said. The baby's father broke bones in her face and knocked her teeth out. The young woman said she could not have an abortion when she learned of her pregnancy.
The adoption was not an open one, so the young mother, who now has four other young children, said she plans to contact the boy when he turns 18.
"I think about the day I'll see him...I don't know what I'll tell him, but I owe him the truth," she said, adding she wondered what his personality is like and what his interests are.
"It was one of the hardest decisions I've ever made, but I feel in my heart it was the right decision," said the young mother who attends life skills and parenting classes and receives counseling at Corpus Christi's Hope House. She hopes to become an LVN and eventually an RN.
Sometimes the decision is not the parents' to make.
The state becomes involved when children are removed from their home because of abuse or neglect, said Rose Banda of the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services. Children go through a mix of emotions when they are removed from the only home they have ever known, even though they may be glad to be removed from an abusive situation, Banda said.
"It's difficult for children to process all of that because they don't have the life experience," Banda said. A court decides if the child goes back home or not, based on the presentations of the attorneys and the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services. Sometimes the agency recommends the child not be returned to their home, she said.
"Child Protective Services strives to keep children with family, and if there is no family, we look for someone they know. Once all other options are exhausted, they must be placed in a nurturing, structured and stable home," Banda said.
Sometimes a family will go into the adoptive process not grasping the full concept of what it entails, and will decide not to go through with it, she said.
"It's all about commitment. The kids will push every button and they will challenge everything," Banda said.
It can take from four months to two years to adopt, from the time the home study is approved, said Michelle Lopez of Spaulding in Corpus Christi. The agency contracts with the State of Texas to provide adoptive homes for foster children, some as young as aged two.
Someone interested in adopting must go through Parent Resource Information Development Education classes through the agency, Lopez said.
"There is a lot of training about past trauma such as emotional and sexual abuse, how to discipline and preparing your family to integrate the child's past, present and future," she said.
Requirements for adoption include that the prospective parents, whether single of married, be at least 21-years-old. Married couples must be married for at least two years, Lopez said. Prospective parents must also submit personal references, provide proof of insurance and income, take the PRIDE training and have a criminal background check.
Once parents are approved, the matching process starts, and parents will get to read a health, educational, social and genetic history of the child, along with redacted case files.
"Based on that information, they decide if they want to go forward," Lopez said.
Once the children are placed, CASA, Child Protective Services and attorneys officially supervise them for six-months to assess the situation so there is not a failed placement. Once the adoption process is finalized, children are eligible for post adoption services such as therapy if they are needed, Lopez said.
Parents can receive a subsidy for adopting children who are a minority, or a part of a sibling group until the children turn 18. The children are also eligible for Medicaid and free tuition at Texas public colleges, she said, and there is no fee for a family to adopt.
There are currently about 6,000 to 8,000 children available for adoption in Texas.
"There is a real need for forever families," Lopez said.