A special event for Catholic singles

“This idea originated at Women’s Night,” says Catholic Speed Dating coordinator Yvonne Wright. “I was venting about dating and the difficulty of finding a Catholic match that I felt ‘equally yoked’ with.” Wright's vent session echoes that of many young adults in their 30s and 40s, who increasingly feel that their relational needs and roles in the Catholic community are often overlooked. Catholic singles today essentially find themselves approaching mid-life with no prospects of marriage or family – and not for lack of effort. That led Wright to eventually plan the first Catholic Speed Dating event in the diocese, which will take place on Friday, Feb. 9, at St. John the Baptist Church.

Because there are so few peers to meet and date at church, many young adults try to meet other Catholics on dating apps or at social activities, which leaves them open to encountering people who might be lax in their faith, against the faith, or just not interested in faith at all. To further complicate matters, dating etiquette has devolved dramatically in recent years for a myriad of reasons: Communicating primarily through social media and text and not face to face; pervasive pornography and the over-idealization of the opposite sex causing conflict and disillusionment, which is felt keenly by Catholic singles, and this first-time-ever Catholic Speed Dating event is a hope-filled response to that problem.

Angie Windnagle, Director of Family Life at St. John the Baptist Catholic Church, was Wright’s confidant during those pivotal venting-turned-planning sessions. Windnagle will be the emcee of the event and is Wright’s co-coordinator. “I also brought it up to Fr. Richard [Gonzales] in December as a joke,” Wright recalled, “and he said, ‘Go for it.’” With their pastor’s support, Wright and Windnagle decided to run with their speed dating idea, which will be brought to fruition the evening of Friday, February 9, inside the St. John the Baptist church building. To prepare, they plan to repose the Blessed Sacrament, set up several card tables, a bar for alcoholic drinks, and decorate with a St. Valentine’s theme.

Their goal is to create a welcoming and comfortable environment inside the church to ensure nobody feels awkward or strange despite the focus on dating. “There’s something straightforward about the event,” said Windnagle. “Everyone who's coming wants to meet someone.” At the same time, the organizers want attendees to come and create connections and friendships. “It’s going to open the door for people who want to meet Catholic singles,” said Windnagle. “We plan to have a laid-back atmosphere so that speed dating isn’t too stressful for anybody. It doesn't matter if you meet your spouse at the event because you could befriend somebody there, and they might have a sibling or a friend you could meet through them.”

Wright added, “We want it to be a night where you can enjoy time with your fellow single Catholics, who’re usually in the same boat as you. You’re going to make some good friends that maybe you can get together with later on and enjoy fellowship and community – rather than feeling the pressure of ‘If you don’t find anyone tonight, you’re going to be single forever.’”

Windnagle believes, “There is a gap in this community with this particular population, and we want to create a sense of fellowship. It’s just about understanding that it’s hard in this culture to be a Catholic single well into adulthood, feeling like you have no options. We’re organizing this event to offer a relaxed environment where singles can trust that the people there are a little more like-minded than what you’d find on secular dating apps or out at a bar.”

So far, Wright and Windagle are expecting 25-30 people. The event will begin at 7:00 pm with a welcome to everyone and instructions on how the speed dating portion will be conducted. Then, there will be a social period with drinks served at the makeshift bar. Afterward, the women will take their seats at individual card tables, and the men will rotate from table to table. The couples will be allowed to chat for four minutes before taking a minute to pause and then moving on to the following table. Each person will have a card on which they will keep track of which contestants they feel a connection with. Conversation starters will be provided, but couples are welcome to wing it.

The rotations will be followed by a more laid-back fellowship to close the event. Wright and Windnagle will collect the cards from the attendees once the event is over and then email them and let them know who they matched with. Windnagle feels that their approach to notifying the matches is a low-key way to bring them back together after the fact. It buffers some discomfort, saying, “Hey, I really liked you. Here’s my number.” People won’t have to feel rejected on the spot, and others won’t feel impolite if they don’t reciprocate someone’s feelings. It will be like giving people a safe environment to interact face-to-face. “Spread the word,” said Windnagle, “especially to the young men since it seems harder to get them to participate. We’ve had registrations of both men and women. Encourage all your single friends to come.”

To their knowledge, such an event has never been sponsored by the Church in Corpus Christi. In the past, Wright had decided to give a secular speed dating event a try at a local coffee shop. “It was about five years ago,” she shared. “I did go on a date, but we soon realized we wouldn’t be successful as a couple. It was still good to explore the possibility.” Today, Wright is taking that experience and applying it to this project. The fact that her speed dating event is solidly Catholic does not guarantee success, but it does minimize the disappointment that comes from trying to date people who don't share your core beliefs. “It’s so cool when you have a chill environment to feel like yourself, not feeling the need to impress, and all having the same ultimate intention to marry and get to Heaven one day with our spouse. On top of that, finding like-minded friends is always such a relief.”

News of the event is spreading across parishes, denominations, and media platforms. The Facebook post alone has been shared almost 200 times. Registrations have been flowing in from within and outside the diocese's boundaries. Wright was surprised by the volume of responses: “You feel so alone in your 30s-40s. You feel like no one’s reaching out or trying to minister to us, and you feel like you’re a forgotten group. It’s nice to see that people want and support this and seeing older age groups who want to try this as well.” Windnagle affirmed, “We’re getting requests to do this for an older crowd, so there’s a need there.”

Contact the St. John the Baptist parish office at (361)991-4400 to learn more about Catholic Speed Dating. To register, use the QR code on the flier. Entry is $20 per person and comes with two drink tickets.