A mother’s unconditional love

Mikell West, 35, holds Gianna and his wife, Alexis, 31, holds Lincoln. The twins were born after the couple had fostered many children and were in the process of adopting two of their foster children.

Rebecca Esparza for South Texas Catholic
 

Alexis West was 13 years old when she and her two younger siblings had entered the foster care system in Michigan. Although an aunt and uncle eventually adopted them, she didn’t know them well, and there was still a time of adjustment.

West said the gift of adoption was the foundation for her decision to do the same once she was able. “I always knew adopting kids from foster care was something I wanted to do,” she said. “It was always on my heart.”

Married in 2014, Alexis and her husband Mikell have four children, and two of them joined the family via the foster care system. “Our original plan was to have a biological child first and then adopt, but we ran into some fertility issues,” West explained.  “So, we then decided to pursue foster care first.”

They started the process of becoming certified for foster care in the summer of 2015, and by December the couple was ready for their first foster child. They received the call only one day after becoming certified, due to the number of children in the system.

The West family relaxes in their backyard in Corpus Christi recently. Mikell and Alexis West began fostering children in 2016 partly because Alexis was a former foster child. Rebecca Esparza for South Texas Catholic

“We were open to a sibling group of two children, under the age of five and instantly received a call for placement,” she explained. “That one fell through, but we received another call shortly after for a nine-month-old girl who needed a foster right away, and she arrived at our house at 9 p.m. that same day.”

That placement lasted only three weeks, and West learned the hard way: foster care can take a toll on a new mother’s emotions. With the selfless love only a mother can understand, she knew leaving their loving home was ultimately best for the child.

“I was a mess. It was hard,” West said. “I was packing her clothes and crying the entire time. But the baby was going to be adopted by a family who had already adopted her siblings.”

For the next four months, they cared for two siblings who came from a home with no boundaries. The older child could not speak, and the younger one was barely learning how to walk.

“A lot of times, children in foster care come with little to no personal belongings. My goal was to make sure that children who left our home left with new clothes. Another trademark of children in foster care are trash bags, so my other goal is they would leave with a nice bag.”

Soon, it was time to send the children home to their parents. It was a bittersweet moment for Alexis since she had four months to create a close bond with the children. She said, “One of the main goals of foster care is reunification with the biological parents, especially when the children are so young. Many times, we would meet the parents when the children had scheduled visits with them.” 

Just a few days later, yet another pair of siblings landed on their doorsteps. “The plan was to take a break for a month since the previous children we had were with us so long. But four days later we got the call and here comes another pair,” Mikell West chuckled.

The siblings were reunited with their mother pretty quickly, and they were gone with just one day’s notice. It was another tragic heartbreak for both Alexis and Mikell. They contemplated a break, but the next call was two days later, and this time for a boy who would eventually become a permanent member of the West family.

Alexis West looks at a family photo album with her children at their home in Corpus Christi. West and her husband fostered their first child in 2016. Rebecca Esparza for South Texas Catholic

“He stayed with us as a foster child for over a year starting at just 9 months of age. We decided to intervene in his case. At that point, we were all he knew.  After having him for over a year, the idea of this child leaving was too much to bear. We felt like it would have been too traumatic for him,” she said.

During this time, another sibling set arrived for foster care at the West home, but the case was another emotional roller coaster. “There was a point where we didn’t know if they were staying or leaving the next day. But that didn’t bother me. I didn’t hold back my love for them. I felt like that was done to me, when I was a child in foster care. I didn’t want to do that to them,” West said. 

Meanwhile, the Wests made the decision to try to conceive a child of their own. A few months later, they learned she was pregnant with twins. “It was a surprise! I wasn’t expecting anything and then to find out at your first ultrasound it’s twins! I wasn’t sure how to feel. It was hard to comprehend there were two humans inside of me,” she laughed. “Our foster care manager asks if we want any more kids and I jokingly told her: ‘No, where would I put them? We are full!’”

Today, their home is filled with giggling toddlers and cooing infants. Alexis and Mikell West wouldn’t have it any other way.  

“A lot of the things I experienced in foster care I saw in a couple of the children we have fostered. I saw myself. Fostering has given me a sense of purpose,” she said. “When I was young, I relied on my faith to get me through some of the toughest times in my life. I’ve always felt like I had a relationship with God because many times, He was the only one I could really talk to.”