‘Undecided’ is not a vocation

It might be easy to confuse the “single” vocation with indecision, but they are very different things. Every person is called to be single for some period of time; the most obvious being when we are young and have not discovered our God given vocation.

There is some debate on whether the single life can be considered a “vocation” if it does not involve a permanent commitment–for example, consecrated virginity. However, the Church recognizes that some people are called to life-long holiness as single men and women. “Some live their situation in the spirit of the Beatitudes, serving God and neighbor in exemplary fashion (CCC #1658). ”

Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati was a single man who dedicated his life to God’s work by helping the poor, promoting knowledge of the faith, and advancing the acceptance of Catholic social principles in politics.

It is clear that single people are often more free to give themselves wholeheartedly to God’s work, and many offer very valuable service to the Church. But the generous single life is far different from a noncommittal “discernment limbo.”

We may have heard of the (unofficial) society to which many people in the Church belong called the “Order of Perpetual Discernment.” This is meant to be a funny way of saying “I just can’t seem to make up my mind and pursue a particular vocation.” However, even though the Order of Perpetual Discernment is meant to make light of the situation, this perpetual indecision can be a real problem for people who want to do with their lives what God has planned.

Among the various possible reasons for lack of vocational motivation are:

Notice that each of these reasons is based on fear or doubt. Neither fear nor doubt is a good impetus for discovering or–in this case–NOT deciding on a vocational path.

If God is calling someone to be single–either perpetually as a consecrated single person or for a short time–this will be determined in the same ways that any vocation is determined: through common sense, reflection on one’s life and healthy inclinations, good spiritual direction and above all through prayer. In the end, one who is called to the generous single life will have a real and profound peace about it.

If you think God is calling you to live a selfless single life, and have discerned this with the help of a spiritual director, great! Live it with all of your heart!

If someone is not certain of their God given vocation, then they should continue to pray and discern. God will tell us with no uncertainty what he wants for our lives if we are generous and open to his invitation. Discernment is designed to assist in discovering why we were created.

Feel free to contact me any time you want to discuss what he has in store for you.