Marriage Encounter, Retrouvaille offer couples communication skills

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Rene and Sandra Bocanegra are coordinators for Retrouvaille program in the Diocese of Corpus Christi. The next Retrouvaille session is scheduled for Oct. 7-9.

Contributed photo

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Marriage can be an unpredictable journey and sometimes a couple may find themselves in a situation they never would have thought possible in their relationship, said Leslie Brown, the director of the Office of Family Life of the Diocese of Corpus Christi. To help married couples communicate better and to give them the tools they need to help heal or to enrich their marriage, the diocese offers two different lay ministries known as Marriage Encounter and Retrouvaille.

“Marriage Encounter offers enrichment and an opportunity to make a good marriage even better. Retrouvaille ministers to hurting couples, even couples whose marriages may be severely broken,” she said, adding that the two ministries have a different emphasis and should not be confused with each other.

Retrouvaille, which means “Rediscover” in French, was founded in 1977 in Canada as a way for couples in pain to learn to communicate in their marriages in a respectful manner, according to their website. The special global ministry helps married couples who are hurting and who need to spend some time healing their marriage.

“We help couples communicate in a different way than they are accustomed,” said Rene Bocanegra, who with his wife Sandra Bocanegra serve as area coordinators for Retrouvaille.

“We don’t do problem solving or open sharing,” he said, adding that the group of couples does not engage in therapy sessions at Retrouvaille and it is not a retreat, but a marriage ministry. 

Instead, couples are supposed to spend the time focusing on their own issues, he said. There are three presenting married couples at the weekend session, and a priest who facilitate the meetings. The first part of the program takes place over a weekend, which involves staying over a Friday and Saturday night. This is followed by six post-sessions over the next six Saturdays for four hours at a time. 

Retrouvaille helped Shane and Suzi Beckwith by giving them some tools and ideas to make their marriage better and stronger.  Contributed photo

A Retrouvaille session is scheduled in the diocese on the weekend of Oct. 7-9.  

The presenting couples share some of what is happening in their own marriages and the priest talks about his own partnership with the people of God and Jesus Christ, Rene Bocanegra said. 

Sandra Bocanegra wants to stress that the Retrouvaille ministry is not just for people about to get a divorce and the presenting married couples are not counselors. 

“We are trying to keep families together and heal these couples. All marriages need help,” she said. 

The couple has been married for almost 20 years. Rene Bocanegra, 49, works as an LVN and Sandra Bocanegra, 46, works as an RN. 

They also want people to know that the Retrouvaille ministry can help a couple who is already divorced, but may be thinking about reviving their marriage. 

“When we presented in the Diocese of Victoria, there was a couple there who had been divorced for 10 years,” Rene Bocanegra said, adding that every time he and his wife are presentors at a Retrouvaille program, it serves as continued healing for their own marriage. 

Another couple who came through the Retrouvaille program in 2010 in the Diocese of Corpus Christi said their marriage was saved as a result.  

Shane and Suzi Beckwith, married for 18 years, said Retrouvaille gave them some tools and ideas to make their marriage better and stronger. Shane Beckwith, 46, works as a salesman and Suzi Beckwith, 43, works as an X-Ray technician.

“It put God in the middle of our marriage and helps you to understand God’s plan for marriage and how it can be cherished and nourished,” Shane Beckwith said.

He said the couple relates better and are able to express their feelings to each other, adding that it helps to hear the presenting couples share their past struggles so that no one feels alone. 

“It helps you get your priorities in order,” Suzi Beckwith said. 

Both said they are pleased that Retrouvaille, which had been inactive in Corpus Christi since 2012, is getting started up again. 

“We are actively praying for that weekend and those involved,” Shane Beckwith said. 
Both Marriage Encounter and Retrouvaille are ministries for married couples, Brown said, but pointed out that Marriage Encounter offers enrichment and an opportunity to make a good marriage even better and Retrouvaille ministers to hurting couples, even couples whose marriages may be severely broken.

“Both programs afford couples the opportunity to make deliberate choices to grow as a couple,” she said.