Journey of faith

Like many others, I suppose, my pilgrimage of faith had its beginnings when I was a young child. My mother was the most influential person who formed me in the faith.

I have three fond memories of my childhood regarding faith. One is of my First Communion. I remember walking with the other kids in procession into Santa Rosa De Lima Catholic Church in Benavides. Another memory I have is also at Santa Rosa De Lima; I remember going to Communion, walking up to the Communion rail and kneeling shoulder to shoulder, waiting for my turn to receive Communion.

Another early memory I have is going to Mass with my grandparents at San Jose Mission near Benavides. I remember all the elderly ladies singing loudly. What I remember most about the San Jose Mission was the humility of those attending Mass. These memories made an impression and helped form the foundation of my faith very early on. I believe these early memories have allowed me to remain connected to the Church.

I married my wife, Soraia, in 1981, and we have three sons. I can’t remember when we didn’t go to Mass as a family – from when our sons were born until they moved out and were on their own. We made sure they were involved in the Church, all three were altar servers and got their 10-year cross, and they were in the Knights of Columbus Squires service group. However, I had to lead by example. I was in the choir, a member of the Knights of Columbus and a lector.

A little over 20 years ago, I attended a meeting for vocations to the diaconate. I had developed a strong interest in the diaconate. However, something inside told me it was not the right time. I didn’t feel I was up to the task – spiritually. I looked for ways to strengthen my faith and was introduced to ACTS. The retreat was what I needed but, at the time, had no idea where it would lead.

After several years of being involved with ACTS, I felt I needed something more. I was going in the right direction but ran out of road. I then found out the diocese was starting a new diaconate formation class. However, I found out a month late, so I made excuses why it wasn’t for me, all the while questioning myself if I was doing it for the right reasons.

I was wrong. I was at a cenacle one evening in the middle of praying the rosary. I was sitting in the front row, my friend (and soon to be fellow diaconate candidate) Bobby was leading the rosary. He looked at me, and I could tell something was up. I have often heard priests and other clergy say, “I got the call,” but I never really understood what that meant, and honestly, I thought it was just a line. I was wrong again. I believe God was a little upset with me for making excuses because I got hit hard.

I remember Bobby looking at me with a degree of concern because my demeanor suddenly changed. I don’t know how to describe the feeling that flowed through my entire body. I was physically and mentally affected. I was almost in a panic and had to excuse myself from the cenacle. I had to get word to the diaconate office, and I needed to do it right then, but it was 6 p.m., and I didn’t know what to do. Fortunately, I ran into Deacon Ernest in the hall, and he told me who I needed to contact. I called first thing the next day. So now, here I am five years later.

I know, without a doubt, I could not have made it through the past five years of formation without the unwavering love and support of my wife, Soraia. I am also truly grateful for the support I received from our sons, family, our parish family at St. Elizabeth of Hungary in Alice and my classmates. I have grown spiritually in these five years and know I will continue to be formed – spiritually, as I become more involved in the ministry God has planned for me. The most significant factor that I have learned in the past five years that has had the most profound influence on my spiritual development and growth has been realizing and accepting that God is in charge and to trust in his providence. Many people say it, but fewer believe it. I believe.  

That evening at the cenacle was absolutely and without a doubt my “calling” to the diaconate, which truly began at the little church in Benavides.