Happy Father’s Day

 

Most Reverend Michael Mulvey is bishop of the Diocese of Corpus Christi.
 

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Last month I wrote an article about my own mother in honor of Mother’s Day.  It is only fair that I offer some reflections about my father in honor of Father’s Day.  I return to the wall in my room with the family pictures on it.  There is a photo of my father with his brother sharing a tricycle.  What is interesting about the frame that houses it is that there are two pictures, one of my father and his brother and one of my older brother and me.  By coincidence more than 20 years later, my brother and I are also sharing a “vehicle”, but it was my walking stroller.  And there is no doubt that all four of us are related!

My father and his brother were very close in age and very close friends. I believe that he brought that value into our family—brothers can remain friends for life.  Sharing a ride on a wobbly tricycle in the 1920s or a walking stroller in the 1950s may seem to be a trivial matter, but when we learn to share things early in life, we acquire a value for family life that is indispensable for creating and fostering lifelong friendships.  

Dad was a loving husband and fun to be around. He often came home from work and sang a few verses of “Margie”, my mother’s name, while she was in the kitchen preparing dinner. Although smiling at his “nonsense” she just continued with her work. 

It was obligatory that we all came to the table for dinner in the evenings. There were no excuses. It was in that hour or so that we shared things with mom and dad and they shared with us. One night—I do not remember what my siblings and I were doing right or wrong—we were given a lecture about being a member of the family and how we had jobs that contributed to the family. My dad concluded his remarks with these words, “And remember, you are guests in this house. ” I never remember seeing my father speechless, but he was that night when one of my younger brothers responded, “Then why don’t you treat us like guests.” Yes, dad was speechless, but he could not help but break a smile. 

Another moment at the dinner table that was memorable was when my oldest brother and I were in high school and had to go to a Friday night football game.  No doubt in a hurry to be there on time, we were running toward the door when dad stopped us and “invited” us to sit down to dinner (it was a rule). Amidst all the complaining and arguing, he told us we had to eat something. We did, and quickly; then we were dismissed early. What seemed to be illogical was in reality developing us as members of a family. The table was our “classroom” where we learned to value each other and that all activities were secondary to being together as a family. Sharing a meal together was the apex of the day.

As we got older mom and dad invested in a piece of property in Dime Box, Texas. My dad had a theory that since we were living in the big city of Houston that we needed to experience what small town life was about and we needed to know the value of “hard work”.  So, almost every Friday and weeks during the summer months, we loaded up and made the two hour trip from the big city to the very small town.  My sister and brothers and I still share great memories from those days, but as I look back now, I believe that my father wanted to share with us those activities that he himself loved. He had a way to make what he enjoyed something we could share as a family. What he loved doing we learned to love too because we did it as a family.

One of the pivotal moments in my relationship with my dad was when I was about to leave for the seminary in Rome. My dad reminded me often during my early years that he was my “formation director”, but now I was off to the seminary to be formed as a priest. He was very proud of my decision, but he was nervous that I was going so far away, never having been in a seminary before. Neither had I been that far from home before. One day we were in the car and he turned to me and said:, “If it doesn’t work out, come home, there will be no questions asked.”  That was a great gift to me. I knew he supported me and I knew that whatever happened he would be there for me. After I was ordained a priest, he would proudly say, “He may have received theology in Rome, but he received his ‘philosophy’ at home.”

I thank God for my father.  And I thank God for fathers throughout the Diocese of Corpus Christi.  You have given life to your children.  I pray that you will continue to give of yourself to them in service as their “formation director”.  Children need good and dedicated fathers to form them in strong family values.  May this Father’s Day be a time in which the love and commitment you have made to your children return to you a thousand times over.  

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!