Grandchildren love grandparents ‘to Jesus and back’
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February 27, 2015
Eleven-year-old Danny Puebla enjoys spending time with his Grandparents Joey and Margaret Diaz Mitchell, who are his legal guardians and have been raising him since he was three.
Dayna Mazzei Worchel for South Texas Catholic
Eleven-year-old Danny Puebla is like most boys his age. He loves football, basketball, swimming and his dog, Bella. But the two most important loves in this fifth-grader’s life are his grandparents, Joey and Margaret Diaz Mitchell.
The Mitchells are not alone in their situation. In Texas, 349,000 or five percent of children under the age of 18 lived with grandparents in 2013, according to figures provided by the Kids Count Data Center. And there are 253,000 children in Texas under 18, or four percent who lived with other relatives besides grandparents in 2013.
Danny, whose family has nicknamed him “Danny Boy,” has lived with the Mitchells in their comfortable Corpus Christi home since he was three. When asked about the best part of living with his grandparents, he replied, “being with Papo,” the name all of the grandchildren call Joey Mitchell.
The boy’s father, one of Margaret Mitchell’s three grown children, was not married to Danny’s mother, and was unable to care for the child. He made the decision for Danny to live with his grandparents, with whom he used to stay on weekends, because he cried for them.
“I can’t turn my back on these kids,” said Margaret Mitchell, who had five grandchildren living with her at one point.
“Grandparents face financial, health, social challenges, usually because of a traumatic event,” said Felipa Lopez Wilmot, a family caregiver program specialist with the Area Agency on Aging of the Coastal Bend, which serves 12 counties in the area.
Wilmot facilitates a support group for grandparents, which meets from 10-11:30 a.m. on the second and fourth Tuesday of each month at the Greenwood Senior Center, 4040 Greenwood Drive, in Corpus Christi. Speakers talk about grandparents’ rights, grandparents share coping skills and they learn about resources in the community, said Wilmot, who facilitates the support group.
Danny Puebla serves as an altar boy at Our Lady of the Rosary Church. Father Varghese Kolencheril Ethappiri is giving communion.
Contributed Photo
“It’s very empowering for them because there are so many barriers they face,” she said.
Wilmot said State Rep. Abel Hererro helped change Texas law in 2009 to allow grandparents or other relatives to obtain medical treatment for children in their care.
The Mitchells are Danny’s legal guardians, which means they can authorize his medical treatment and make decisions about his education, they said. The guardianship does not take away parental rights and is not the same as an adoption, they said.
The Mitchells have been very happy with the emotional support they received while going to the support group, and had started their own evening support group for about a year at St. Peter, Prince of the Apostles parish in Calallen. But their work schedules prevented them from continuing it.
“I highly recommend support groups–they suggest ways for you to take care of yourself,” Margaret Mitchell said.
The Mitchells, who attend Our Lady of the Rosary Church, credit their faith with helping them get through the tough times. Father Gabriel Coelho, their parish priest, is also a psychologist and works well with parents and grandparents there, they said.
“We are teaching them our faith. We want to instill moral values in them, because without it, they would be lost,” Margaret Mitchell said.
They pray the rosary once a month and the youngest of her eight grandchildren, who range in age from four to 16, now participate. They have one grandchild in heaven, Margaret Mitchell said, after they lost a 7-month-old grandbaby recently. It is important to teach the grandchildren the power of prayer, she said.
Margaret Mitchell said the fact that she and her husband work as a team is the reason for their success in raising their grandchildren.
“It’s overwhelming, but you just do it,” she said.
She and her husband spoke openly about how much they love their grandchildren. Joey Mitchell helps Danny with his homework and cooks, including making a big breakfast on Sunday morning. Margaret Mitchell cleans the house and takes care of making sure the cookie jar is always full.
“My biggest fear is that I will fail him. I’m not as hard on him as I was with my own kids. I just want to spoil him,” Margaret Mitchell said.
Her own children tell her she never would have let them get away with the behavior she allows in the grandchildren. She loves all of the grandchildren the same, she said.
Margaret Mitchell said she wishes she had more stamina to keep up with Danny.
Above all, the couple stresses education for their grandchildren.
“I don’t want them to work 14 hours a day, I want them to own the company,” said Joey Mitchell, a branch manager for a trucking outfitter.
Danny Puebla plays with his dog, Bella at his grandparents home where he has been living since he was three.
Contributed Photo
We tell them to shoot for the stars and not take the easy way out, his wife said.
Having her grandchildren in her home has not been a burden, despite the challenges, the Mitchells say.
Sometimes people will ask them why they do it and tell them their grandchildren are not their responsibility.
“My response is why wouldn’t we want them?” Margaret Mitchell said, adding that they are children of God.
What makes the effort worth it is when the grandchildren tell them how much they love them.
“They always say ‘I love you to Jesus and back,’” Margaret Mitchell said.
(For more information on the grandparents support group or other resources, contact the Area Agency on Aging of the Coastal Bend at (361) 883-3935 or toll free at (800) 817-5743.
