Diocese marriage classes help couples prepare

“He didn’t realize how difficult it is. He would ask why some bill hadn’t been paid and I would say it was because I had paid something else,” she said. 

The parents of four children now sit down together to pay the bills and Jeanette Vela recently began to look for a job to bring in extra income. The two, who were married at St. Anthony of Padua in Robstown on April 23, had been married civilly for five years. They credit the diocesan marriage preparation program, offered by the Diocese of Corpus Christi, in giving them valuable lessons about communicating with each other in a positive way. 

The new weekend program is for engaged couples and couples who want to convalidate their existing marriage and be married in the Catholic Church, said Leslie Brown of the Office of Family Life for the diocese. Three times a year, there is a one-day seminar for convalidation. The weekend convalidation classes, which began in February, are offered once a month at Pax Christi Liturgical Retreat Center in Calallen, with an overnight stay.  

“The program gives us a deeper understanding of God’s plan for marriage. It’s a lifelong covenant versus a contract, which means it can’t be broken at anytime,” Brown said.  

Beginning early on a Saturday morning and ending early Sunday afternoon, time is carved out to do the necessary work on a relationship that will last as long as the couple is alive, she said. The couple is given a workbook in which they each answer questions about themselves privately, and then they come together during the seminar to see each other’s answers and dialogue privately. 

The program is facilitated by couples who are married in the Catholic Church, including Brown and her husband, Michael. The couples view video clips and participate in breakout sessions on finances and stewardship, decision-making, sexuality and children, communication and conflict and spirituality in marriage. They also hear from priests and professors and learn how to pray together as a couple, Brown said. 

“We let them know it’s okay to be imperfect,” Brown said, adding that the facilitating couples are honest about their own marriages and are honest about subjects like pornography and cohabitation. 

Rolando Rivera, who attended the February weekend seminar with his fiancée, Selma Gonzalez, said they appreciated the candor of those couples about their own challenging situations when facilitating the discussions. 

“It was refreshing how they shared their stories. They made it real and said we would have our struggles,” Rivera said.   
 

Rolando Rivera and Selma Gonzalez appreciated the candor of facilitating couples about their own challenging situations. Dayna Mazzei Worchel for South Texas Catholic

Rivera and Gonzalez were high school sweethearts at Alice High School and even went to the prom together back in 1985.  

Although the two teenagers went their separate ways after high school, married other people and had children with their respective spouses, they never really lost touch because Rivera’s sister and Gonzalez’ brother communicated throughout the years. 

Rivera, who was married in the Catholic Church for 26-years, is awaiting an annulment. He is civilly divorced. Gonzalez, who had also married before in the Church, became a widow in 2000. The couple has eight children between them, ranging in age from 16 to 26. They re-connected through Facebook in 2014, and became engaged in October of last year. They plan to marry this summer at Our Lady of Guadalupe Church in Alice. 

The couple said that the marriage preparation program gave them valuable help and communication skills, even though they did not think they would need it at their ages and with their life experiences.  

“We learned to pick our battles and to be careful what we say because you can say things that wound,” Rivera said. 

Both said they believe their religion and having attended the seminar will make their marriage stronger.

“Marriage is based on trust and forgiveness and religion helps with that. Jesus forgave everyone,” Gonzalez said.

The two text each other every day to say they are praying for each other, which is one thing the seminar taught them. 

“We would advise any couple to take the class,” Rivera said.  

“It’s not about having one person complete the other; it’s about having two independent people who complement each other,” he said. 

The cost for the weekend seminar is $275 per couple and covers lodging, meals and materials, Brown said. Scholarships are available to help cover costs. 

For more information, visit diocesecc.org/marriageprep or contact Brown at the Office of Family Life at (361) 882-6191 or via email at [email protected].