Destiny and the blessing of fathers

Sister Anne Marie Walsh, SOLT is a member of the order of the Society of Our Lady of the Most Holy Trinity.

Deprivation can be an awful thing. There are many serious types of poverties in the world today. But there is one class of poverty that is perhaps too easily overlooked and yet has some of the most far-reaching effects upon destiny that one can imagine. This is the poverty that comes from the lack of blessing, and specifically the lack of a father’s blessing.

Scripture shows us from the very beginning of creation that there is a fundamental principle, which has not changed, a principle that is even more necessary in a fallen world. The principle: if something is to flourish, the good must be correctly recognized and properly blessed. Pure and simple!

God’s joyful affirmation of the work of his own hands ignites creation’s growth and development and multiplies its fruitfulness. Our heavenly Father blesses our world from its inception.

The fruit of every womb too awaits blessing, a blessing that God has willed should come in a special way from fathers. Without this blessing, even mothers can find it harder to receive their children as gifts from God. Without the blessing of fathers, millions of children never see the light of day, or, if they do, they grow up with a gnawing hunger for acceptance, for an affirmation of their very existence.

In short, without the blessing of fathers—wherein the goodness of each child is personally acknowledged and celebrated—we end up with a society of orphans who easily become enslaved. They do not have the protection they need from the exploitation of the world at large, no one to help them navigate the world’s dangers, no one to protect their dignity and keep them safe in truth and right order, no one to form them in authentic work and a vision of the eternal.

The absence of a biological father increases by 900 percent a daughter’s vulnerability to rape and sexual abuse, and for boys has been linked to sexual maladjustment and greater aggressiveness or exaggerated masculine behavior. Consider these other consequences:

• 85 percent of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes;
• 63 percent of youth suicides are from fatherless homes;
• 71 percent of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes;
• 90 percent of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes;
• 80 percent of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes;
• 85 percent of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes; and
• 70 percent of youths in state institutions come from homes without fathers. (http://firstthings.org/father-facts)

Fathers, along with mothers, have the special task of blessing and preparing their children in order that they bring forth gifts essential for our age. The world is in desperate need of these gifts.

But instead of an abundance of meaningful talent, we see among many children and young people, a massive psychological and emotional failure to thrive and an overwhelming neediness which is actually the fruit of parental selfishness and the modern love of criticism, negativity and, tragically at times, outright rejection. These are all forms of non-blessing.

Today, there are mountains of books written on discipline and parenting. None of these are nearly as important as understanding the power of blessing, presence and involvement in the life of a child. It is a fundamental lesson of Genesis, where God does not create without blessing, and where things do not increase and become fruitful without blessing.

Why does Jesus tell us to bless even our persecutors? Because blessing has the power to overcome all that disfigures the image and likeness of God. Blessing has the power to integrate. Blessing has a power that moves something to its fruition in God. It has the power to multiply goodness. It has the power to make holy, to sanctify. Blessing is life giving. It illuminates the core goodness of all God has created.

On the other hand, the fruit of non-blessing causes people to labor under unnecessary weights and burdens that can drag them to despair and eventual destruction. This is not just a psychological principle; it is a deep spiritual one!

Would there be millions upon millions of our brothers and sisters lost to abortion if the blessing of their fathers were upon them? Would there be close to 25 million children in this country alone who do not live with their biological fathers if they were received as a blessing and further blessed in thanksgiving?

If people want healing in their families, and by extension, in society, they must learn what real blessing is and start blessing. Cursing and blaspheming, berating and negative nit-picking, so prevalent today as to often go unnoticed, will bring a house, a family, to ruin in no time. Blessing stabilizes and sets the foundations for restoration, bringing the immeasurable benefits already mentioned.

There is no greater need today than that the hearts of fathers be turned to their children. A child may occasionally abuse his parents’ blessing as the prodigal son did; yet it was that father’s very blessing which drew him back home and restored him.

Both men and women are called to bless. Real mothers and fathers bless and prepare their children and then give them as gifts to the world, just as God bestowed his own Beloved Son. There is hope. Malachi prophesied almost 25 centuries ago: “Now I am sending to you Elijah the prophet, Before the day of the LORD comes, the great and terrible day; He will turn the heart of fathers to their sons, and the heart of sons to their fathers, Lest I come and strike the land with utter destruction –(Mal 3: 23-24).”

Scripture provides the warning, but also the remedy once we have lost the gift; “A father’s blessing gives a person firm roots...(Sir 3:9),” and “For creation awaits with eager expectation the revelation of the children of God…(Rom 8:19).”

All society awaits the peace and order and benefit that will come when fathers truly learn the transforming power of God’s love, which is theirs to communicate to their children.