On Saturday, Oct. 8, 22 couples attended a Convalidation Seminar for couples seeking to have their civil marriage convalidated by the church.
These civilly married couples came seeking to expand their relationship with one another and God.
One couple had been married for just over a year while many of the others had celebrated 10 or more anniversaries. Each of these couples had approached their pastor about their desire for convalidation before attending the conference.
Encouraged to attend in preparation for the church’s blessing, the couples learned to sing, praise and give witness in order to appreciate their faith through the living out of their marriage vows.
Father Frank Martinez spoke on the sacraments of marriage, reconciliation and the Eucharist. Father Martinez talked about the human condition and how a person’s basic needs affect them, leading to behaviors that can be difficult to deal with.
He referred to this cycle of behavior as “the blame game,” for it is here that many hurtful behaviors are expressed. He shared with the couples that this behavior is carried over from their upbringing and is often unfairly directed at their spouses.
Father Martinez told the couples that it is necessary for them to establish a sacred space within their marriage and their home if they are to break this destructive cycle of behavior. It is in this sacred space that they will find healing and understanding, forgiveness and reconciliation, and it is from within this sacred space that they will obtain the strength to face the temptations and trials of the world which threaten to separate them.
In a talk entitled Created for Relationship, the couples were reminded that human persons are created in the image and likeness of God to be in relationship, even as the Father, Son and Holy Spirit are in relationship with one another. They learned how God created them to know that they are unlike the rest of creation in that they are called to share in His divine life.
The couples also heard how they were created for unity and innocence, and how original sin disrupted these original experiences God ordered them toward. This segment ended with a brief explanation of the seven steps of temptation and sin that can be seen in the story of original sin.
During lunch, the couples had time to interact with one another and discuss some of the things they had heard in the morning sessions. After lunch, Deacon Manny Maldonado shared with the couples experiences he has learned over the years as a licensed counselor.
Deacon Maldonado described how the couples could resolve conflict utilizing active listening techniques, followed by the couples taking the REFOCCUS assessment tool for personal enlightenment and couple sharing. This tool is designed to help couples communicate, understand and study their marriage.
The day ended with a restatement of faith and commitment by the spouses to one another. Each couple received a Bible and Father Martinez gave each couple a blessing.
“This conference will help further our relationship as we continue to grow in our spiritual life and commitment with God and one another. I recommend this to any couple who is not married in the church and wants to improve their marriage,” one spouse said.
The conference, sponsored by the Diocesan Office of Family Life, was held in the St. William Family Center on the grounds of St. Peter, Prince of the Apostles Parish in Corpus Christi. Couples wanting information on the next conference should email [email protected].