Couple got it "right with Jesus"

Anthony and Leticia Rodriguez willingly entered into the bonds of holy matrimony at Our Lady of Perpetual Help's Schoenstatt Chapel. Their spiritual mentor Deacon Ron Martinez witnessed their exchange of consent. Alfredo E. Cárdenas, South Texas Catholic

As they eagerly waited to receive the Eucharist they could not help but cry. It had been 15 years since they had last sat at the supper table of their Lord. Anthony and Leticia Rodriguez had not been married in the church and were not able to fully participate in its spiritual rewards. But now they had gotten it "right with Jesus."

On July 20, 2013 Tony and Letty, as family and friends call them, willingly entered into the bonds of holy matrimony at Our Lady of Perpetual Help's Schoenstatt Chapel. Their spiritual mentor Deacon Ron Martinez witnessed their exchange of consent.

"It is a mistake to say that they had their marriage 'blessed.' It requires a new consent. They must be free to marry and to enter into with consent," Deacon Martinez said.

The Catholic Church does not consider Catholics married by civil officials, such as a justice of the peace, to be in a valid marriage. Some situations may involve the previous marriage of one spouse before they entered into their own civil marriage. Yet other couples may have been or are in common law arrangements.

These couples, however, can have their union recognized by the Church in a procedure called convalidation of a marriage. Tony and Letty Rodriguez are among some 60 couples annually who have their marriage convalidated in the Diocese of Corpus Christi.

In his Apostolic Exhortation On the Role of the Christian Family in the Modern World, St. John Paul II provided direction for pastors on how to deal with couples that were not married in the Church. As the pope noted, each situation is different and must be considered individually. There is not a one size fits all.

Pope John Paul II directed pastors and others in marriage ministry to use "tactful and respectful contact with the couples concerned and enlighten them patiently, correct them charitably and show them the witness of Christian family life in such a way as to smooth the path for them to regularize their situation."

Tony and Letty Rodriguez were indeed fortunate to have a patient and charitable deacon to guide them in their journey. Deacon Martinez noticed that Letty always sat in the front pew at church with her three boys. Tony, on the other hand, played a musical instrument in the choir. The deacon noticed that neither of them, however, ever received communion.

Both had been raised as Catholics. When she was eight-years-old, Letty's mother died and her father was always working so she would walk by herself to the nearby San Martin de Porres church in her native San Antonio. She enrolled herself in CCD and the parish found sponsors for her sacraments.

"Every time I went to church I felt happy," she said. "I wanted to be part of the celebration. I loved it. I wanted to be fed."

While she did not get married in the church, she continued to attend Mass regularly and made sure her boys all received their sacraments.

Devout Catholic parents raised Tony in the church, first at Holy Family and later at Christ the King. Like many young people, he let his faith lapse when he went off to college. After returning home from college and at his sister's urging, he began to attend Mass again.

"The biggest problem up to then was falling asleep during sermons because I did not really understand what was going on," Tony said. "The readings were just words. I didn't feel I was getting anything out of it."

After a long-distance relationship, Tony bought a home in Corpus Christi and asked Letty to move in with him. He had never been married, and Letty was not sure the situation was fair to Tony. His mother also cautioned him about the difficulties he would encounter marrying someone with a family. But Tony was in love and determined.

"She's an incredible woman. She raised three kids on her own. They were well fed, well dressed, had great manners. She is a strong independent woman, a great mother," Tony said. These are qualities that attracted him and he never had a second doubt about the boys. "They are my children. I have never introduced them as my stepsons. They have always called me dad."

Their marriage and family life appeared to be a success, but something was missing.

"At first, (when they moved in together) we were going to get the Eucharist. I found out that I couldn't do that so we stopped," Tony said.

Letty said, "We've always put God first in our lives." Now, they realized that they had made a mistake.

One Sunday, after a Baptism, they approached Deacon Martinez about their situation. He quickly put things in motion to fix the problem. First, however, he told the couple that they had to begin living "as brother and sister" while undergoing the convalidation process. They were not to have marital relations and could not sleep in the same bed nor could they see each other in any stage of undress.

Deacon Martinez processed annulments for Letty's civil marriage for "lack of Canonical form," which is an important yet simple process and means that she had not followed the proper norms for a Catholic marriage. The deacon then proceeded with the convalidation process.

For couples that have been previously married in the Catholic Church and later divorce, they must first secure a formal annulment from that sacramental marriage before remarrying. This is a much longer and involved procedure that often takes up to two years.

"Couples married outside the church who wish to have their marriages convalidated must be adequately prepared to understand the sacramentality and nature of marriage," said Deacon Stephen Nolte, director of the diocese's Office of Family Life. "They are instructed and formed to enter into the new marriage with their freely given, total consent to be faithful and to allow their love to be fruitful."

The Church recognizes the moment of consent as the beginning of a couple's newly valid marriage. This formation is required for all couples seeking to convalidate their marriage.

In the Diocese of Corpus Christi, the convalidation process is handled in a formation setting where couples focus on the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony and living Sacramental lives. Six topics are facilitated at the seminar. They include, marriage as a process, intimacy, compatibility, communication, commitment and ministry marriages. Ministry marriages provide couples who are active in their faith with the opportunity to discuss the impact the call to serve has on their marriage.

The Diocese of Corpus Christi offers three convalidation seminars each year. The next seminar will be on Nov. 8 at St. Peter, Prince of the Apostles Parish.

Couples should speak to their parish priest before registering for the seminar to determine whether it is the right program for their needs. For more information on convalidation of marriage call the Office of Family Life of the Diocese of Corpus Christi at (361) 882-6191.