Being attentive to His voice

I received my call to discern on a Sunday last September. I was at Mass, and during the homily, the priest was talking about how only in giving do we receive, and it is in giving our lives to Christ that we truly receive life.

It was a call to action so powerful that I could not mistake it. I had to reevaluate where I stood in my faith. I never considered a religious vocation then; I always assumed I wanted to get married and have children.

It was something I had never felt before – my heart was moved and brought to a few tears. I felt fear not long after that; my life may take a completely different path than what I had planned. 

Afterward, I acknowledged this had happened at Mass, but I didn't want to do anything about it because I was still in denial. Not that you can deny it, but it was fear of what might happen next, the fear of the unknown. It was about one month that I was trying to put this feeling aside, hiding it, but then I was on a retreat and talking to one of the priests, and he saw that I was interested in the priesthood.

I asked many questions; this was the first time I had had the opportunity to talk to a priest one-on-one like that, so he invited me to one of the men's discernment dinners, asking if I was interested in hearing more about vocations.

I went, and I felt that it was a step in the right direction; it was an affirmation. The most important takeaway from that dinner was how to pray about discerning a vocation. I had a good talk with one of the priests there, and he told me to be mindful and more attentive in prayer. To listen to what God is telling me through my heart. At that point, my spiritual life was saying my prayers but not so much “me listening to the voice of God.” It was more me sharing with God. From then on, I started to pray about my vocation, and a month later, I started spiritual direction.

How will this journey continue? Only God knows the answer! The desire to serve God in the vocation that I was created for cannot be ignored. I am reminded of a quote by St. Augustine, “You have made us for yourself, O Lord and our hearts are restless till they rest in you.” Knowing that we will find true happiness in our vocation, I will continue until I find rest in God.